Each week, starting January 2017, a (lame?) food joke will be added to this page.
- What did one potato say to the other potato on their honeymoon? Let’s have a chat.
(submitted by Gillian Essex)
- How do you handle dangerous cheese? Caerphilly.
- What cheese is made backwards? Edam.
- I’ve just written a song about tortillas – actually, it’s more of a rap.
- Why does Elton John never eat cos lettuce? Coz he is more of a rocket man.
(submitted jointly by Lynne Gough and Dave Richards)
- Did the grape cry when someone stepped on it? No, it just let out a little wine.
- We don’t have any more vegetable jokes. If you have one, lettuce know.
- Did you hear about the woman who drowned in a bowl of muesli? A strong currant pulled her in.
(submitted by Susan Palmer)
- What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce.
(submitted by Sabi Buehler)
- Why can’t you tell secrets in a community garden? Because the sweetcorn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans stalk.
- What did the papa potato say to the baby potato? “I’m keeping an eye on you.”
(submitted by Martin O’Callaghan)
- What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, stupid … apples don’t talk!
- One day, you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.
- What do you do if life gives you melons? See a doctor, because you’re dyslexic. (see this Wikipedia page)
- If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where do eggs come from? A poul-tree!
- What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin? I yam what I yam.
(submitted by Jenny Shaw)
- Turning vegan is a big missed steak.
- I always eat my tacos over a tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
- Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he is a fun guy.
And, not a joke but still funny, have a look at these two men in fruit-themed body paint, which was photographed by in February 2017 by Claire Miller. As Claire says “I was watching a rather out there acrobatic busker act on Southbank by a Japanese gymnast calling himself Jackie Chan Chan when these two turned up and started scoring his act. They seemed related to possibly promoting Juice Boost but I can’t be certain. They were just such a bizarre addition to the crowd watching an already bizarre act that I snapped the photo. Cool body paint, though!“