Thanks to all the people who have contributed to this week’s newsletter: Amanda Coombes, Angela Harridge, Anna Rosa Pascuzzo, Bali Portman, Bruno Tigani, Cathy Romeo, Choon Yin Yeok, Chris Chapple, Chris Kent, Claire Smith, Dave Chambers, Doris Glier, Dorothy Kwak, Georgia Tracy, Jon Buttery, Julie French, Kim Riazi, Ling Wong, Lyn Richards, Megan Goodman, Rebecca Haschek, Robin Gale-Baker, Simone Boyd, Suzy Georges, Victoria Kanicki and Yennie Yong.

Given that we are not including any face-to-face events at the moment, there is lots of space to include other things. Now would therefore be a really good time for you to submit some words about any food-related matters. It can be anything so long as it is food-related: ask a question, provide a tip, discuss an issue, submit a photo, send in a recipe, etc. Email us with your contribution(s).

This week’s farmers’ markets

Saturday: Carlton and Coburg.

Sunday: Alphington and Eltham.

Seaweed tonics or liquid nitrogen fertilisers? (by Robin Gale-Baker)

[Robin, from Sustainable Macleod has produced another article for us, this time on which liquid solutions to use in which circumstances, a summary of which is given below. Read the full article.]

Liquid solutions are valuable because plant roots can only absorb nutrients in liquid form. Essentially, there are two types of liquid solutions:

• Foliar sprays that contains trace elements (also known as micronutrients) such as seaweed sprays e.g. Seasol and Maxicrop. Trace elements are mineral elements needed by plants in minute amounts, and are essential for plant health. Foliar sprays are sometimes called ‘tonics’.
• Nitrogen-based sprays made from fish e.g. Charlie Carp and Powerfeed. Nitrogen is an essential element in many plant functions including creating chlorophyll, which is vital for photosynthesis in plants. Photosynthesis converts the sun’s energy, water and carbon dioxide from the air into sugars for plants to consume. Nitrogen sprays are sometimes called ‘fertilisers’.

Both types of liquid solution help plants to grow, help condition the soil and help protect the plants against stress, diseases and pests.

In addition, seaweed tonics help prevent transplant shock and also strengthen cell walls, which in turn helps water delivery.

Nitrogen-based sprays stimulate leaf growth, but sometimes at the expense of fruit production.

To illustrate the different usage, let’s take garlic. After the shortest day in June until the end of August, garlic may need additional nitrogen as it uses up what is present in the soil. This will feed and strengthen the leaves and roots. However, if nitrogen is applied later than August, it will result in the growth of the leaves at the expense of the bulbs. Applying liquid seaweed, on the other hand, will result in swelling of the bulb. So, apply a nitrogen spray in July and August followed by a foliar spray from September onwards.

So, before purchasing/using any products:

• Work out what you are trying to achieve through a liquid application; then
• Decide whether you want to use a product which is seaweed-based or fish-based; then
• Choose accordingly; and then
• Follow the instructions on the label.

Read the full article.

Kale-ini – an early Spring taste sensation (by Simone Boyd)

[You may remember that the most clicked link in the 8th September newsletter was the online veggie seed shop, Heirloom Naturally. Its owner, Simone Boyd, has now volunteered to write a few veggie-related articles for this newsletter. The material below is her first contribution.]

“What on earth is kale-ini?“, you may ask. Well, it is a word that I have made up to describes the crop that you are about to be introduced to.

If you have grown kale throughout Winter, you will know that the change in temperature and sunlight signals it is time to create the next generation, and your kale will start developing flowering stalks.

But, before you pull it out to make way for your summer crops, wait! The florets produced by your kale plants are 100% edible and rather delicious, providing that you harvest them prior to the floret opening. Hence, why I call the crop kale-ini, as it is effectively a broccol-ini alternative.

Harvest the thicker stems and pop the thin, spindly ones in the compost as they are often fibrous. Aphids will love your kale-ini as much as you do, so inspect the florets for these little critters (a jet of water will dislodge them from the plant, or even a flick of the floret onto your palm once harvested will often do the trick).

As the weather warms up, you will need to harvest stems daily. Doing so will then see the plant reward you with more kale-ini stems. Steamed, stir fried or even roasted – it makes the hungry gap of Spring something to look forward to.

The humble teaspoon (by Amanda Coombes)

I enjoyed reading the recent article about knives. It got me thinking about one of my most favourite, useful implements that I use in the garden, namely the humble teaspoon!

Apart from the obvious (stirring a cuppa, or measuring bicarb or Epsom salts), the teaspoon has a myriad of uses in the garden. I love it because it helps me gently remove seedlings that I have propagated without damaging the delicate roots. For me, it is the perfect size.

Anyone else got a favourite, simple, basic tool that they could tell us about?

Jon’s podcast of the week

I listen to both real time webinars and after-the-event podcasts. You can do both at My Smart Garden, which is a collaboration of various Melbourne councils.

Meg’s garden this month

Like others, I have been tackling the cockatoos that have come to visit. They have just spent a morning uprooting my herb pots on the deck. They also had a lot of fun uprooting, chewing and discarding seedlings. I have tried various deterrents over the years, but only strong wire covers seem to work.

Rhubarb is at its best new in early Spring and I am picking weekly. Make sure you twist the stems at the base rather than cut the rhubarb. The stems are wonderful roasted at 160degC for about 20 minutes with the juice and rind of an orange, a teaspoon of vanilla paste and about 200g of sugar (or to taste).

My new fruit trees are planted now, replacing the damage of the fallen tree. I have planted Moorpark and Trevatt apricots and a Hicks Fancy mulberry. They will need watering while they establish but they are already budding with green shoots. I have tied up the raspberry canes and checked and strengthened the supports plus put in some carrots and beetroot seeds.

This month I am:

1. Scaring the cockatoos from the vegetable patch.
2. Enjoying the quince in full flower.
3. Mulching under the fruit trees.
4. Starting seeds in seed trays inside ready for spring planting and wishing that I had labelled them.
5. Telling myself that we do not need more marmalade.

Another free food pantry – Annie Borat Community Cupboards

The Annie Borat Community Cupboards are a free food pantry, street library and a craft/games cupboard for everyone to use for free and open 24/7. Take what you need. You do not need to make an appointment, you do not need to provide ID or a bank statement and use of the cupboards is completely anonymous. Donations are what keeps the cupboards full and they welcome any unopened non-perishable food, fresh fruit & veggies and toiletries. Please do not donate any food that needs refrigeration or freezing. The street library accepts any books, magazines or comics but not CDs or DVDs. The craft/games cupboard accepts any craft items and games but not toys. Welcome Bali, Melinda and Kim!

 

I think that their yellow theming is very striking!

That brings the total number of free community pantries to 12. Look at a map of where they all are.

Remember when we could travel?

In 2013, Dave Chambers went to Milan in Italy, ate lots of gelati, and wrote an article about his experience. In 2021, unable to travel, Dave went into his living room, re-read his article and wept. Read Dave’s article on our website.

Tomato and other veggie seedlings available at Kevin Heinze Grow (Coburg and Doncaster)

As discussed last week, the 2021 Kevin Heinze Grow (KHG) Spring Fair has had to be cancelled but they have replaced it with a ‘call and collect’ service. Their tomato and other veggie seedlings (grown by KHG participants under the guidance of horticulturalists) will be available for purchase using this system during October (until sold out).

You choose what you want from their website and send them an email (plantsales@kevinheinzegrow.org.au). They will then contact you re payment and to organise collection.

An urban farm for Eltham?

Local Food Connect is working to establish an urban farm in Eltham. They recently presented to Nillumbik councillors to promote the idea that part of a small parcel of former farmland in central Eltham be used as an urban farm. The site is on the last remaining part of what was once Fabbro’s Farm. Fabbro’s was the last operational farm in Eltham, which was once a centre of agriculture before urban development progressively replaced the plough and the orchard. Sign up to join their Urban Farm Interest Group and to receive occasional updates on progress.

The 52nd Eltham Wine Show

The Eltham & District Winemakers Guild’s Eltham Wine Show is Australia’s largest annual competition for amateur grape winemakers, meadmakers, country winemakers and liqueur makers. They have decided that their 52nd show will go ahead on 21st November.

Amateur winemakers are invited to enter your wine, cider or kombucha to the show. The entries will be judged by wine industry professionals, and all entries will be scored and receive constructive comments. The competition classes are:

• Red, white and sparkling grape wines.
• Country wines.
• Fortified wines and liqueurs.
• Meads.
• Ciders.
• Kombuchas.

Entries close on 23rd October. The entry forms are available on their website.

Every newsletter deserves a good picture

Rebecca Haschek has sent in a photo of a honey bee being revived: “My daughter Matilda found a bee today which was not moving much, so she picked it up and we gave it some honey and water.”

Do you know?

Victoria Kanicki: “I recently purchased some bergamot, korean mint, valerian and calendula seeds. Despite having looked on the Internet, I can’t seem to find anywhere reliable to advise me on where or how to plant them. In large pots? Straight into the earth? Any other advice?” Email your thoughts.

Can you help?

Suzy Georges is look for a Thompson table grapevine cutting that she can grow. Can anyone offer one. Email me and I’ll put the two of you into contact.

What seeds to plant in October

Here is a list (see the planting guide for more detail):

Cucurbits Cucumber Gourd Pumpkin Rockmelon Watermelon Zucchini

Other warm season veggies Beans Okra Peanut Sweetcorn

Leafy greens Lettuce Mizuna Mustard greens Parsley Rocket Silverbeet

Roots Beetroot Carrot Jerusalem artichoke Parsnip Potato Radish

Other veggies Asparagus Celery Chives Globe artichoke Rhubarb Spring onions Sweet potato

 
Compared with September, the solanums (capsicum, chilli, eggplant and tomato), basil and coriander drop out of the list, whilst the cucurbits (cucumber, gourd, pumpkin, rockmelon, watermelon and zucchini) stay in. Note, however, that these lists are the months that it is ideal to plant particular seeds and that you can sometimes plant in other months. So, for example, if your tomato seeds didn’t germinate in September, it’s better to try again in October (or buy some seedlings) rather than face the prospect of no homegrown tomatoes.

Helen Simpson has previously written ‘how to grow’ articles for us about many of the warm season veggies, namely: basil, chilli, cucurbits and tomatoes. Robin Gale-Baker has previously written about how to grow eggplants and capsicums. And Helen has written more generally about Spring veggie garden preparation.

Guy’s tip of the week – silverbeet

For beginners, what is a good vegetable to grow? Here is my argument for silverbeet (aka chard): you can plant it any time of year, it always seems to grow successfully and you can harvest leaves from it at any time. It also looks more interesting than other leafy greens, particularly if you grow a mix of the various coloured stemmed varieties (white, red, yellow, orange and pink). And, finally, it is the favourite food of my chickens!

Would anyone like to nominate any other vegetables that are both easy and rewarding to grow? Email me with your choice together with a few words about your reasons why.

In passing, for beginners, what are difficult vegetables to grow? Here is my list: broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, okra, peas, rockmelon, sweetcorn, sweet potato and watermelon.

Angelo’s article of the week

Why you shouldn’t fertilise gardens in winter in cool and temperate climates.

Read more of Angelo’s articles about food growing.

The photo competition

The results of last week’s competition

The theme was ‘exotic (i.e. non-native’) flowers’ and we had 20 entries. Thanks, everyone!

The winner, as judged by our panel, was Julie French’s photo of a Jacobean lily.

Commendations to Doris Glier’s two-headed bird of paradise, Amanda Coombes’ Corydalis porcelain blue and Dorothy Kwak’s carrion plant, in each case because of their unusualness.

Many of the other photos are also interesting.

Jacobean lily or sprekelia (Sprekelia formosissima) Julie French   THE WINNER   This is a bulb that I’ve grown in a pot for years, a gift from my mother who passed away last year, and very special to me. She was a gardener who loved flowers and, wherever she lived, created beautiful gardens. I love its unusual shape, vivid colour and old fashioned name.
Bird of paradise (Strelitzia reginae) Doris Glier   COMMENDED   A double-headed bird of paradise in my garden.
Corydalis porcelain blue (Corydalis flexuosas) Amanda Coombes   COMMENDED   Lightly fragrant, it has delicate blue blooms over airy foliage. Gorgeous in spring and repeats in autumn.
Starfish plant or carrion plant (Orbea variegata) Dorothy Kwak   COMMENDED   From South Africa. Smells a bit like off meat, which is how it attracts flies as pollinators.
Banksia rose or Lady Banks’ rose (Rosa banksiae) Cathy Romeo   Named after the wife of botanist, Joseph Banks. Native to China, it has a rambling habit and is an early flowering rose which is out in all its glory at this time of the year.
Cactus (Mammillaria unknown) Dorothy Kwak
Crassula springtime (Crassula rupestris) Kim Riazi   A bee can be seen on the top of flower.
Dianthus (Dianthus unknown) Yennie Yong   A cheerful perennial. Thanks to Woolies seeds giveaway!
Giant spear lily (Doryanthes palmeri) Choon Yin Yeok   On Camperdown golf course
Natal or bush lily (Clivia miniata) Cathy Romeo   A native of South Africa. Growing happily in our garden where it has shade and good drainage.
Natal or bush lily (Clivia miniata) Soo Mei Leong   Clivias in colours of apricot and orange-red brighten a shady corner.
Peony (Paeonia unknown) Julie French   This is my favourite flower and I love to watch the buds slowly open to this glorious cloud of pink.
Pride of Madeira (Echium candicans) Ling Wong   Good for planting along borders.
Pride of Madeira (Echium candicans) Chris Kent   Native to the island of Madeira, a Portuguese autonomous region. It is apparently classified as a potential weed of the future by the Victorian Department of Primary Industries.
Tower of jewels (Echium pininana) Chris Kent   Endemic to the Canary Islands, a Spanish autonomous region. The photo is from St Ives, Cornwall, UK.
Quince – Smyrna variety (Cydonia vulgaris) Lyn Richards   Quince blossom, palest pink, just opening after battering from the hail. For the bee – and for me – the fruit is just a bonus.
Rose (Rosa x) Claire Smith   A beautiful rose at my bubble buddy’s place in Bayswater
San Pedro cactus (Echinopsis pachanoi) Bruno Tigani   Bees in my cactus flower (left hand photo) plus what it looks like fully loaded (right hand photo). It is apparently hallucinogenic (it contains mescaline) but I haven’t eaten any!
Sunflower (Helianthus unknown) Rita Varrasso   It self-seeded in my garden. Can you spot the morning dew?
Treasure flower or clumping gazania (Gazania rigens) Rita Varrasso   The happy daisy.

 
Incidentally, in reference to Doris’ photo of a bird of paradise, the plant is called a bird of paradise because it supposedly looks like the drawing on the left of the sketch, not the drawing on the right.

Even more incidentally, watch these 3 short David Attenborough videos featuring real (i.e. avian) birds of paradise: video 1, video 2 and video 3.

This week’s competition

As we are still in lockdown, and as last week’s competition attracted a reasonable number of entries, we are going to have another photo competition. The theme this week is ‘pictures from your veggie patch’. Email your photos together with some words about them.

To get you started, the photo right is of a harvested peanut plant that I grew. The summer season is just long enough to grow peanuts successfully in Melbourne. Plant in November. The peanuts start developing above ground (where the pretty yellow flowers were) then, by gravity, the stem bends down to touch the ground then, by some mysterious force, the incipient peanut buries itself just below the surface. Until you harvest the plant, you don’t know whether you have zero or hundreds of peanuts.

Recent articles that you might have missed

Articles published over the last month:

• Growing great spuds (by Robin Gale-Baker).
• Rock samphire – Crithmum maritimum (by Jaimie Sweetman).
• How to make homemade beer or cider (by Lucinda and Sean Flynn).
• How to make homemade wine (by Lucinda and Sean Flynn).
• Hand saws (by Stuart Rodda).
• Knives (by Stuart Rodda).
• Mini chainsaws (by Stuart Rodda).

Which link was clicked most times in the last newsletter?

The most popular link last week was Angelo’s article entitled Robin’s article on how to grow potatoes.

Word of the month

‘Plirding’, meaning to pick up litter whilst bird watching. Watch this 60 minute webinar on the subject by Julia Cirillo, from Merri Creek Management Committee.

Proverb (or phrase) of the month

Bubble and squeak. Meaning: a dish of cooked potatoes and cabbage, mixed together and fried. In Australia, it sometimes also includes peas and pumpkin.. The phrase dates back to 18th Century England, when it meant a dish of fried beef and cabbage. According to Francis Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, published in 1785, it was “so called from its bubbling up and squeaking whilst over the fire.“. By the 1950s, potatoes had replaced beef as the main ingredient, perhaps due to the scarcity of meat after World War II.

It is similar to the Scottish dish rumbledethumps and to the Irish dish colcannon.

Read about more food-related proverbs.

Gardening quote of the month

“To dwell is to garden.” by Martin Heidegger.

Read more gardening quotes.

Joke (or pun) of the week

How do you milk sheep? Release a new iPhone and charge $1,500 for it.

Read more jokes.

Upcoming online events – newly announced

If you know of an upcoming online event that you would like to see included in this newsletter, email me with either the details or a link to the details.

Grow into Spring; Saturday, 2nd October, 10am-midday

Organised by CERES. $50. Explore: which veggies grow in spring; when to start and plant your spring vegetables; how to grow them from seed and seedlings; preparing your soil and potting mixes for optimum spring growth; and looking after your veggies through the growing season. Presenter: Donna Livermore. Read more and potentially book your place.

Cook with Rosa; Saturday, 9th October, 2-4.30pm

Rosa’s traditional Italian cooking classes have moved online. $55. Menu: nonna concetta amaretti plus homemade tiramisu with homemade ladyfinger biscuits. Book by email (rosascookingclass@gmail.com).

Veggie gardening for beginners; Sunday, 10th October, 10.30am-midday

Organised by Bulleen Art and Garden. $35. This will cover all of the veggie gardening basics, from setting up your patch to harvesting. Presenter: Angelo Eliades. Read more and potentially book your place.

Gut health workshop; Tuesday, 12th October, 7-8pm

Organised by Whitehorse Manningham Libraries. Free. This workshop will cover practical dietary and lifestyle tips to nourish and support your gut microbiome, supporting good health, wellbeing and productivity. Presenter: Lindy from The Nutrition Guru. Read more and potentially book your place.

Beginners guide to pruning; Thursday, 14th October, 6-8pm

Organised by CERES. $50. Skill up in all the basics so you can get started pruning right away. Presenter: Carol Henderson. Read more and potentially book your place.

Growing great tomatoes; Saturday, 16th October, 10am-midday

Organised by CERES. $50. This workshop will cover: how to choose which tomato varieties to grow; whether to grow from seed or seedling, in pots, raised beds or directly into soil; when and how to plant and tips for success; training growth with stakes, cages or string vs free range; pros and cons of pruning; preventing common problems; feeding; and crop rotation. Presenter: Carol Henderson. Read more and potentially book your place.

Understanding and improving your soil; Sunday, 17th October, 10.30am-midday

Organised by Bulleen Art and Garden. $35. Learn how to identify the various types of soils and improve them to create a healthy and productive garden. Learn about the fundamentals of soil ecology, plant nutrition, soil pH management and soil care. Presenter: Angelo Eliades. Read more and potentially book your place.

Composting at home; Saturday, 23rd October, 10-11am

Organised by Maroondah Council. Free. Learn how to set up, maintain and use a compost bin at home. Read more and potentially book your place.

Worm farming and Bokashi at home; Saturday, 23rd October, 11.30am-midday

Organised by Maroondah Council. Free. Learn how to set up, maintain and use a worm farm and Bokashi bucket. Read more and potentially book your place.

Home composting for beginners; Saturday, 23rd October, 2-3.30pm

Organised by Edendale Farm. Free. Learn the basics of home composting including how to set one up and maintain it, the simple recipe for success, what to add and what not to add. Read more and potentially book your place.

Grow more, work less; Monday, 25th October, 2.30-3.30pm

Organised by Whitehorse Manningham Libraries. Free. This workshop will cover soil health, seeds, seedlings, growing fewer weeds and succession planting. Presenter: Alison Sizer from Urban Harvest. Read more and potentially book your place.

Preparing for a summer veggie crop; Wednesday, 27th October, 7-8.30pm

Organised by Boroondara Council. Free. You will learn about: garden maintenance and preparation; selecting what to plant and when to plant it; growing summer veggies in pots; managing hot weather, including mulching and smart watering; improving productivity sustainably, including crop rotation and companion planting; and soil preparation and management. Read more and potentially book your place.

Herbs for the kitchen garden; Thursday, 28th October, 6-8pm

Organised by CERES. $50. Learn the best herbs for sunny or shady spots, which grow well pots and what to grow when. Discover rules of thumb to know which herbs you can take cuttings from and which grow best from seed. Presenter: Carol Henderson. Read more and potentially book your place.

Keeping backyard chooks; Thursday, 28th October, 7-8pm

Organised by Whitehorse Manningham Libraries. Free. This workshop will cover chook health, nutrition, housing, protection from predators and pests, the benefits of having chooks and Council bylaws. Presenter: Ella from Chooktopia. Read more and potentially book your place.

Guiness world records extra virgin olive oil tasting; Thursday, 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm

Organised by Cobram Estate. $10 (or $5 if you use the promotion code FOODWINE). Cobram Estate is trying to break the world record for the number of participants in a virtual olive oil tasting event. You will receive an oil tasting kit delivered to your home and will undertake some guided testing. Read more and potentially book your place, noting that ticket sales end at 5pm on 30th September.

Upcoming online events – previously announced

Backyard Honey; Thursday, 30th September, 11am-midday

Organised by Boroondara Libraries and featuring Backyard Honey. Free. Watch life inside a live honeybee hive and learn about the role bees play in our world. Read more and potentially book your place.

Worms, wonderful worms; Thursday, 30th September, 1-2pm

Organised by Cultivating Community. $12. Suitable for children 6 to 12 years. What do worms get up to when nobody is looking? What is the difference between earthworms and composting worms? And how to make your own in-ground worm farm to promote free-range worms and healthy soil in your garden? Read more and potentially book your place.

Know and grow heirloom tomatoes with Penny Woodward; Saturday, 2nd October, 1.30-3pm

Organised by Nillumbik and Banyule Councils. Free. Learn about: where and how to grow and care for tomatoes; some of the health benefits of eating tomatoes; and how to deal with the pests and diseases that can affect tomatoes. Read more and potentially book your place.

Growing fruit & veggies in small spaces with Angelo Eliades; Sunday, 3rd October, 10.30am-midday

Organised by Bullen Art and Garden. $35. Angelo will teach you how to grow your own food in the smallest of spaces. Fruit, veggies, berries and herbs can be all squeezed in, it’s all just a matter of knowing where to begin. Read more and potentially book your place.

Eating for energy and strength; Tuesday, 5th October, 1-2.30pm

Organised by Manningham Council. Presenter: Karen Lovell. Free. Find out more about the foods that the body needs to get the most out of every day. Understand what to eat and why. Read more and potentially book your place.

Wicking beds; Saturday, 9th October, 1-2.30pm

Organised by Sustainable Macleod. $15. Paul Gale-Baker will discuss the how and why of wicking beds, including a detailed explanation on how to put them together. Read more and potentially book your place.

SecondBite’s mission is to end waste, end hunger; Thursday, 14th October, 1-2pm

Organised by Manningham Council. Presenter: Steve Clifford, CEO of SecondBite. Free. SecondBite rescues surplus food from retailers, manufacturers and farmers and re-distributes it free of charge to local charities and not-for-profits that run food programs. Read more and potentially book your place.

Beginners guide to urban farming (7 sessions); starting Sunday, 17th October, 2pm

Organised by Richmond Community Learning Centre. $82 for all 7 sessions. The 7 sessions will cover: 1. making a wicking pot, starting seedlings, container gardening, introduction to permaculture; 2. soil, making biochar, trench composting, soil carbon, hugelkultur, soil food web, fungi; 3. composting, worm farming, bees wax wraps, weed tea; 4. straw bale gardens, hidden hugelkultur, no dig gardens, bee scaping, food scaping; 5. creating a guild, plant companions, polycultures, building soil, maximising space, increasing vigour and yield; 6. feeding the soil, organic control of common problems and pests, chop and drop, looking after our insect friends; and 7. seed saving, cuttings, produce sharing, seed sharing and making community connections. Read more and potentially book your place.

Otao Kitchen cooking classes; various dates

Otao Kitchen have moved many of their cooking classes online including chinese, dumpling making, indian, indonesian, japanese, korean, thai and vietnamese, Read more and potentially book your place.

Thanks to all the people who have contributed to this week’s newsletter: Beck Holder, Choon Yin Yeok, Chris Newman, Claire Smith, Emma Tucker, Emma Tymms, Jon Buttery, Julie Kos, Karin Motyer, Lucinda Flynn, Lyn Richards, Nada Cunningham, Naomi Walsh, Pam Jenkins, Pat Natoli, Peter Allen, Robin Gale-Baker, Sean Flynn, Sim Ritchie, Sonia Martinez, Soo Mei Leong, Stuart Rodda, Suzy Georges, Thea Wilson, Vanessa Reynolds, Victoria Kanicki, Virginia Solomon and Yennie Yong.

Particular thanks to the person who wrote in to say “This is seriously the best newsletter ever!”

Given that we are not including any face-to-face events at the moment, there is lots of space to include other things. Now would therefore be a really good time for you to submit some words about any food-related matters. It can be anything so long as it is food-related: ask a question, provide a tip, discuss an issue, submit a photo, etc. Email us with your contribution(s).

This week’s farmers’ markets

Saturday: Coburg.

Sunday: Alphington and Eltham. Not Yarra Valley.

More ‘Food is Free’ initiatives

Thanks to Claire Smith and Naomi Walsh, I am now aware of 5 new ‘Food is Free’ initiatives in Lilydale, Mitcham, Montrose, Nunawading and Ringwood respectively. That brings the total around North East Melbourne up to 13. I’ve added all 5 to our map of local food justice organisations and have entered into discussions about adding each of them to the food justice section of our Local Food Directory.

Thus far, the discussions have resulted in 3 of them being added to the Local Food Directory.

Mitcham   Like many of the others, they collect donations from various local businesses to help keep the pantry full and also rely on community donations from neighbours.   Welcome Emma and Thea!
Montrose   It has weekly deliveries of both bread and flowers plus a street library. You can donate anything going unused in your pantry, excess produce from your garden or household items   Welcome Pat and Sim!
Nunawading   It was borne out of a desire to give back and build community connections through the sharing of surplus food and produce.   Welcome Julie and Beck!

Knives (by Stuart Rodda)

[This article on knives is one (and, I think, the last) of a series of articles on hand-operated cutting tools.]

Often the quickest way of cutting plants is with a sharp blade or knife rather than the more elaborate secateurs, shears, etc. For small soft plants, that may be a small kitchen knife or, for larger tougher plants, it may be a specialised tool such as a hook or scythe, or even a machete. The photo shows examples of all these tools.

A small kitchen knife kept in the garden can be used to harvest and trim vegetables before bringing them to the kitchen; the trimmings can go straight into the compost bin.

A larger knife, such as a curved ‘hook’, is great for rapid slashing of overgrown weeds or unwanted plants before digging in the remnants to enrich the organic content of the soil. A hook is also strong and sharp enough for removing vines, brambles and the smaller branches of shrubs or trees.

Another large knife is a machete. With its extra weight and size, I find that it is great for cutting up large pumpkins in the garden before bringing them inside for trimming, which reduces the risk of accidentally cutting yourself when trying to cut through a large pumpkin on a benchtop.

Finally, an asparagus cutter is a specialised harvesting knife designed for cutting off the asparagus spears below soil level.

Knives should be kept sharp with a file or sharpening stone and used with care when in use, such as by wearing sturdy gloves.

Making homemade wine (by Lucinda and Sean Flynn)

Lucinda and Sean, from Hurstbridge, have written a ‘pictorial’ (pictures plus words) for our website on how to make wine using an off-the-shelf kit. For each of the 9 steps, there are usually at least 3 photos to illustrate the process (the photo right is from step 5. stir in oak shavings). The 9 steps are:

1. Add sanitiser to water.
2. Wash then sterilise your fermenting drum.
3. Open the box and remove the additional ingredients. Pour 1 litre of boiling water into the fermenter and stir in the Bentonite.
4. Remove the lid from the grape concentrate and pour into the fermenter. Add another 2 litres of boiling water, then top up to 23 litres with water.
5. Stir in oak shavings then, when temperature is in the right range (see instructions), sprinkle yeast on top. Add the lid and airlock half filled with water, and leave to ferment.
6. When your hydrometer shows the initial ferment is complete, ‘rack’ (transfer) into a second sterilised fermenting container using your syphon. Then, add sulphite and stir as per directions, and then Kieselsol. Re-attach the lid and airlock, then leave one day.
7. After a day, pour in Chitosan and leave the wine to clear for another week.
8. When your wine is ready to bottle, clean and disinfect your bottles and syphon. Syphon the wine into each bottle, re-attach the lid, and label. You can drink it straight away, but it improves with age.
9. Drink and enjoy!

Read the full article.

Jon’s podcast of the week

[Jon Buttery, stalwart of St Johns Riverside Community Garden in Heidelberg, has volunteered to provide this newsletter during lockdown with some suggested podcasts. Thanks, John!]

There’s a wealth of information about gardening out on the Internet – the issue question is just how to find it. I listen to a lot of podcasts while doing the dishes, hanging out the washing, etc and, over the coming weeks, I am going to give you the links to some of my favourites.

I recently attended a webinar by an arborist from the Smithsonian Institute on middle level skill pruning, which was not so much about fruit trees, but provided great information. Here is a recording of a previous one that he did – it really has helped develop my understanding.

Yes, you did know!

Last week, Shiva Vasi asked about homemade aphid sprays. A number of you replied.

Lyn Richards: “Water! There are lots of homemade sprays on the Internet and they all work because an ingredient is water. Just firmly spray the buds being attacked with water and dislodge the aphids – they’re too stupid climb back up!”

Victoria Kanicki: “I always use washing up liquid, diluted and in a spray bottle.”

Suzy Georges: “I use this recipe. Ingredients: 4 litres of water, 1 tablespoon of epsom salt, 1 tablespoon baking soda, 2½ tablespoons of vegetable oil and 1 tablespoon of dishwashing liquid. Mix well, put it in a spray bottle and spray on your flowers & vegetables. Don’t spray it on during the day when the sun is shining.”

Yet more on what to do with your large mesh netting

As discussed last week, it is no longer legal for households to use large mesh netting (greater than 5mm x 5mm at full stretch) to protect their fruit trees (read more).

Peter Allen (aka Pete the Permie) has now written in to point out that the new law making small mesh netting mandatory only applies to households, not to commercial farmers, orchardists or ‘ABN registered for food production permies’. Thus a possible re-use for a household’s large mesh netting is to give it to one of these groups who could, for example, use it to patch bigger systems if they get holes or to fill in the sides if they only have it overhead.

Peter also points out that, whilst Agriculture Victoria recommends the use of netting which is white in colour, this is not mandatory. In his opinion, any colour is fine, with black disappearing so that neighbours only see the blossom whereas white produces ugly structures such as he sees all over the hills with the plastic igloos.

In addition, Kerin Tulloch has written in to suggest that expert sewers could double over the netting, perhaps into fruit/veggie bags.

Do you know?

Sonia Martinez wants to install some wicking beds in her back garden but she has no experience with them. She would like to know whether she should a) make them herself, b) get someone else to make them or c) purchase a ready made set up such as Foodcube? She would appreciate any thoughts about cost, effort or likely edible results. Email your thoughts.

Guy’s tip of the week – tromboncino

Consider growing tromboncino this summer. In terms of both texture and taste, it is roughly halfway between a pumpkin and a zucchini. In terms of growth pattern, it is a vine (like standard pumpkins) but can (and should) be grown up vertical structures (unlike standard pumpkins). And its massively long and unusual fruit are both interesting and a talking point.

Tromboncino is sometimes called ‘tromboncino zucchini’, which is a bit odd given that they are different species (tromboncino is Cucurbita moschata whilst zucchini is Cucurbita pepo). I assume that it happens because the Australian language doesn’t have a word or phrase equivalent to the American ‘summer squash’, which are those cucurbits which are harvested when immature and whose most notable examples are tromboncino and zucchini.

Read more of my veggie growing tips.

In passing, Robin Gale-Baker read my tip last week about armenian cucumbers and has written in: “I grew armenian cucumbers for the first time last year and they are now my favourite cucumber. I like that they are crunchy and savoury without the sweet notes of other cucumbers. I saved the seed and have had very good germination. We will be distributing plants from that seed to members of Sustainable Macleod.”

A newsletter reader’s tip of the week – nasturtium flowers and vodka

From Vanessa Reynolds: “Nasturtium flowers have many uses, and are good to eat straight from the bush. Last summer, I discovered that macerating the flowers in vodka gives you a delicious, and I mean delicious, flavoured vodka which is absolutely delightful mixed with plain soda water. Also, after just a few days, the vodka becomes a lovely pink colour. And the boozy flowers are so yum to eat afterwards, as well!”

Every newsletter deserves a good graphic

Thanks to Chris Newman for putting this graphic onto my Facebook feed.

Want to know about Queensland fruit fly?

Last week, Edendale Farm held an online workshop on Queensland fruit fly. Here are the slides from that workshop (pdf).

Another article by Angelo Eliades

What happens if you don’t turn your compost?

Read more food-related articles by Angelo.

The photo competition

The results of last week’s competition

The theme was ‘native flowers’ and we had 10 entries.

The winner, as judged by our panel, was Emma Tymms’ photo of the carnivorous tall sundew.

Tall sundew (Drosera peltata subsp. auriculata) Emma Tymms   It is an erect plant in the carnivorous plant genus Drosera. Some grow to 30cm tall and are showy from late Winter all the way through to Summer. I feel like a fairy tip-toeing through them all on my walks and trying not to squash them!   THE WINNER
Chamomile sunray (Rhodanthe anthemoides) Yennie Yong   Originally purchased from the LaTrobe indigenous nursery.
Grevillia ‘bronze rambler’ (Grevillia rivularis x) Amanda Coombes   A groundcover. The nectar rich toothbrush flowers are abundant nearly all year round. It loves poor soil and is drought tolerant. Bird attracting.
Mintbush (Prostanthera stenophylla) Nada Cunningham   A 1m x 2m bush endemic to Wollemi National Park in NSW.
Native hibiscus (Alyogyne huegelii) and mint bush (Prostanthera unknown) Soo Mei Leong   This dynamic duo of purple flowers attracts bees as well as attention during Spring.
Red or mugga ironbark (Eucalyptus sideroxylon) Karin Motyer   Endemic to eastern Australia and there are quite a few where I live in Plenty.
Showy parrot-pea (Dillwynia sericea) Nada Cunningham   Locally indigenous and available from Edendale Nursery.
Tamala rose (Diplolaena grandiflora) Lyn Richards   This is a ‘rose’ that flowers generously all winter, laughs at mild frost, and doesn’t require pruning, fertiliser or aphid spraying. The Australian ‘native rose’ (Diplolaena) hails from the Western Australian desert.
Tea tree (Leptospermum unknown) Choon Yin Yeok
zigzag or tangled grevillea (Grevillea flexuosa) Nada Cunningham   Grafted. An endangered Western Australian shrub.

This week’s competition

As we are still in lockdown, we are going to have another photo competition. The theme this week is ‘amusing or interesting meals that you have cooked’.

To get you started, the photo right is one of my wife’s creations for my supper.

Email your photos together with some words about them.

Staffordshire frying greens (by Pam Jenkins)

Four ingredients are available in abundance in my garden at the moment. I gave my lemon tree a severe pruning and had a resulting tub of lemons. The warrigal greens and parsley had to be chopped back before the brown snake comes out of hibernation and I discovered another area of onion weed (aka three cornered leek) which I dug out. What to do with them all?

I make heaps of Staffordshire frying greens when the parsley and warrigal greens are in a growing frenzy then freeze it in portion-size lumps for when I need it.

Ingredients

1 bunch of spinach, warrigal greens or similar green vegetable
1 bunch of parsley
1 big bunch of spring onions, leeks or onion weed
2-3 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon butter (optional)
salt and pepper (optional)
lemon juice (optional)

You can alter the amounts of each ingredient depending on what you have available in the garden and to suit your taste.

Method

Blanch the warrigal greens etc, drain and chop.

Chop the parsley and onions. Sauté them to soften them and then add the warrigal greens.

Add pepper and salt to taste.

Cook covered for about 15 minutes.

Uncover and cook to your preferred consistency – about another 15 minutes.

Check the seasoning, add lemon juice if desired, and serve.

Version with egg

Extra ingredients
vegetable stock
cumin
chopped preserved lemon (about ¼ lemon per portion) or lemon zest
eggs
feta
zaatar, dukkah or similar spice and nut mix

With the Staffordshire frying greens, stir through the vegetable stock, cumin and lemon and cook a little longer to reduce the stock.

Make indentations into the mix and crack an egg into each. Sprinkle crumbled or chopped feta around, cover the pan and cook the eggs to your liking.

Serve on toast with a sprinkling of zaatar.

Version with yoghurt

Extra ingredients
1 cup yoghurt
½ teaspoon garam marsala
chili powder (optional)
1 clove garlic, crushed
½-1 teaspoon toasted, partly crushed cumin seeds
pinch of salt

Mix the yoghurt with the crushed garlic, salt and garam marsala.

Spread on top of the Staffordshire frying greens.

Top with toasted cumin seeds.

Serve as a dip or as an accompaniment for curries.

If you have any recipes that you would like to share with the other newsletter readers, email it to me.

Which link was clicked most times in the last newsletter?

The most popular link last week was Simone Boyd’s website, Heirloom Naturally, where she sells veggie seeds.

Joke (or pun) of the week

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? Because it ran out of juice.

Read more jokes.

Upcoming online events

If you know of an upcoming online event that you would like to see included in this newsletter, email me with either the details or a link to the details.

Understanding and improving your soil with Angelo Eliades; Sunday, 19th September, 10.30am-midday

Organised by Bullen Art and Garden. $35. Learn how to identify the various types of soils and how to improve them to create a healthy and productive garden. Read more and potentially book your place.

Fermenting vegetables for beginners; Wednesday, 22nd September, 7-8.30pm

Organised by Sustainable Macleod. $15. Jen Willis will teach you the basics of fermenting vegetables and the difference between pickling, canning and fermenting vegetables to preserve them. Read more and potentially book your place.

Pest control with companion planting with Angelo Eliades; Sunday, 26th September, 10.30am-midday

Organised by Bullen Art and Garden. $35. Learn how to bring good bugs into your garden and keep the bad bugs at bay, as well as ensuring that your garden is as chemical free as can be. Read more and potentially book your place.

Backyard Honey; Thursday, 30th September, 11am-midday

Organised by Boroondara Libraries and featuring Backyard Honey. Free. Watch life inside a live honeybee hive and learn about the role bees play in our world. Read more and potentially book your place.

Growing fruit & veggies in small spaces with Angelo Eliades; Sunday, 3rd October, 10.30am-midday

Organised by Bullen Art and Garden. $35. Angelo will teach you how to grow your own food in the smallest of spaces. Fruit, veggies, berries and herbs can be all squeezed in, it’s all just a matter of knowing where to begin. Read more and potentially book your place.

Wicking beds; Saturday, 9th October, 1-2.30pm

Organised by Sustainable Macleod. $15. Paul Gale-Baker will discuss the how and why of wicking beds, including a detailed explanation on how to put them together. Read more and potentially book your place.

Otao Kitchen cooking classes; various dates

Otao Kitchen have moved many of their cooking classes online including chinese, dumpling making, indian, indonesian, japanese, korean, thai and vietnamese, Read more and potentially book your place.

Thanks to all the people who have contributed to this week’s newsletter: Amanda Coombes, Anna Matilda, Choon Yin Yeok, Dorothy Kwak, Hui Ouliaris, Judy Vizzari, Lucinda Flynn, Mardi Caracoglia, Marina Gallo, Sean Flynn, Soo Mei Leong, Stuart Rodda, Vicki Jordan, Vicki Paras and Yvonne Iliffe.

We would love to hear from more of you and include some of your words about any food-related matters in future newsletters. Email us with your contribution(s).

Mini chainsaws (by Stuart Rodda)

[Stuart, from Eltham, has written numerous articles for this newsletter about garden tools. This article on mini chainsaws is one of a series of articles on cutting tools.]

I (Stuart) have always cut small branches of 3-8cm diameter with a hand saw or, sometimes, with one of my chainsaws. Wood of this size is too large for my long handled loppers, and a full size chainsaw is a bit of overkill, plus inherently dangerous. However, a mini one-handed battery chainsaw does the job in a fraction of the time with almost no effort and seems safer than the alternatives, even safer than a bow saw or a pruning saw with their exposed sharp teeth. Here is a short (5 second) video of me using a ‘4 inch’ mini chainsaw to cut a small tree.

The supplier claims that they do not need lubrication. They come with two lithium batteries, so one can be charging while the other is in use. Due to their small size, they are light in weight and good for cutting in a confined space or close to a trunk, and are unlikely to kick back like a larger chainsaw can. I chose one with a protective top guard just in case. Naturally your other hand needs to be well clear of the moving chain. Being battery powered they always start instantly and don’t have a power lead like a mains-powered tool. They are available in various brands, for example the one I have was $70 (delivered) through eBay from a local supplier. They can also be fun to use and you don’t need to put off those larger pruning jobs for another day!

[Editor: obviously, I see articles before anyone else. When I first saw Stuart’s article above, I went and bought one of the mini chainsaws and I actually find it both very helpful and easy to use. $70 very well spent.]

Making homemade beer or cider (by Lucinda and Sean Flynn)

Lucinda and Sean, from Hurstbridge, have written a ‘pictorial’ (pictures plus words) for our website on how to making beer or cider using an off-the-shelf kit. For each of the 8 steps, there are at least 3 photos to illustrate the process. The 8 steps are:

1. Add sanitiser to water.
2. Wash then sterilise your fermenting drum.
3. Choose your beer or cider, cut the pack open, and remove the contents from the side pocket.
4. Heat syrup in a bucket of hot water, pour it into the disinfected fermenter, add three litres of boiling water, then sugar (cider) or brew enhancer (beer, ginger beer), and stir.
5. Top up to 23 litres with cold water. Add other ingredients as instructed. When the temperature is right (check instructions), sprinkle yeast on top. Seal the lid and add an airlock. Leave to brew for 1 week, until your hydrometer says the specific gravity is correct – i.e. fermentation is complete.
6. Once fermentation is complete: If using a keg, wash and disinfect the keg and your syphon then syphon the beer into the keg. If you don’t have a syphon, just open the tap.
7. If using bottles, wash and sterilise the bottles and crown top lids, line your bottles up ready to fill (ours are stored in a screw top jar), and add sugar or carbonation drops to each bottle as instructed.
8. Use syphon or use bottling valve to fill bottles. Then cap, and store in a cool dry place while carbonation occurs. Then enjoy!

Read the full article.

This is the first of a three-part series, with the other parts to cover making wine and gin respectively.

More on disposing of kitty litter

Last week, Angelo Eliades said “Pet litter, either dog or cat, should never be used in regular composting systems under any circumstances.” This week, Marina Gallo has written in to voice her strong agreement: “I totally agree with Angelo regarding the pathogens that cat litter can carry. Unfortunately, I know from experience having lost a baby due to toxoplasmosis acquired from cats early in the pregnancy. The risk is real and should be taken seriously!“

Do you know?

Yvonne Iliffe has written in: “Over the past couple of months, I have been having problems with cockies, mainly sulphur-crested and corellas, in that they peck bulbs to ground level, peck out seedlings from the veggie patch, nip growing potatoes just above soil level and also nip the tops off flowers. To interrupt this destructive behaviour, I thought about a scarecrow, foil attached to poles or small windmills scattered throughout the garden. I have now put bird netting over the veggie beds but I can’t do this for the whole garden, especially over the bulb beds and flower beds. I have just noticed that my gardenias are coming into bud and my concern is that the cockies will peck off these delightful blooms. Would anyone have any suggestions for this annoying problem?” Email your answers.

Want a free seed saving guide?

Darebin Council have just published a free, downloadable seed saving guide (pdf).

Small mesh netting is now mandatory

As discussed in previous newsletters: “From 1 September 2021, a person must only use netting with a mesh size no greater than 5mm x 5mm at full stretch to protect household fruiting plants. Failure to comply with this regulation could result in a fine under the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Regulations 2019. The fine for using fruit netting that does not this specification will be $3,303.” Read more.

Another article by Angelo Eliades

How much sun do vegetables and herbs need to grow?

The article covers very similar ground to a previous article that Robin Gale-Baker wrote for our website entitled How much sun do veggies need?. In most cases, Angelo and Robin agree, with the biggest difference relating to onions (Angelo’s “root crops, such as … onions … have moderate light requirements” compared to Robin’s “the onion family likes full sun“).

The photo competition

Last week’s competition

The theme was ‘colour’ and we had 13 entries.

The winner, as judged by our panel, was Hui Ouliaris’ photo of her backyard.

Commendations to Dorothy Kwak’s bromeliad and also to her photo of the Rhododendron Gardens in Olinda.

Backyard Hui Ouliaris   Not long after sunrise.   THE WINNER!
Bromeliad Dorothy Kwak   COMMENDED
Garden Dorothy Kwak   Rhododendron Gardens in Olinda   COMMENDED
Boat orchid (cymbidium sp.) Judy Vizzari
Cape cowslip (Lachenalia aloides) Mardi Caracoglia
Garden Soo Mei Leong   My mosaic sunflower garden art brings colour, with the leaves of the curry plant in front mimicking the inanimate ones behind.
Grapevines Dorothy Kwak
Inland pigface (Carpobrotus modestus) Vicki Paras   Growing at a rock edge in my back garden.
Ornamental kale Amanda Coombes   For the first time this year I tried ornamental kale from seed. I was enthralled by the variety of colour from the leaves. It was a nice change from flowers.
Pig’s-ears (Cotyledon orbiculata) Judy Vizzari
Pond Hui Ouliaris   Impatiens (Impatiens sp.) grown bare root with just stones holding onto their roots. The cool water kept them alive all through summer despite the direct sunlight.
Sunrise Choon Yin Yeok   On 20th August of this year.
Tulip Amanda Coombes   First time growing tulips. Just came out today.

This week’s competition

As we are still in lockdown, we are going to have another photo competition. The theme this week is ‘critters’: your photo’s subject(s) can be of any local animal(s), large or small.

To get you started, the photo right is of some white-winged choughs who recently entered my chicken run. (Note the red eyes of the choughs compared to the yellow eyes of currawongs and the bluish eyes of ravens.)

Email your photos, including the names of any of the animals featured and, if appropriate, some words about the photo.

Pickled magnolias (by Anna Matilda)

[Anna, from Forest Hill, is otherwise known as The Urban Nanna and her website includes a number of her recipes.]

Did you know that magnolia flowers are edible? It is the petals that you eat, and the younger petals – when flowers are still buds or just opening out – that are the most palatable. Different species have different flavours, with the most commonly enjoyed one seeming to be the standard purple and pink tinted saucer magnolia (Magnolia × soulangeana).

Pickled magnolia petals have a spiced, gingery flavour, and they can be used in place of straight-up pickled ginger, or dipped in tempura batter and fried, or chopped and tossed through salads in place of a dressing.

Ingredients

10-12 young magnolia flowers or large flower buds
250ml rice wine vinegar
¼ cup white sugar
a pinch of salt

Method

Gently wash and dry the magnolia flowers.

Remove any brown papery bracts from around the buds, and any bruised petals.

If using buds, cut the stems right to the base of the flower. If using opened flowers, remove the petals from the centre of the flower.

Sterilise a large jar, then put the buds/petals into the jar. Using tongs or a flat knife can help squeeze the buds in. Rolling individual petals into a rosette will help keep them submerged.

Heat the vinegar, sugar and salt to boiling, then simmer for 5 minutes.

Pour the vinegar solution over the magnolias until covered. Seal the lid while hot and invert the jar for 1 minute (this helps heat the air inside the jar, and means you’re likely to get a better seal as it cools).

Allow to cool, then put in the fridge. They’ll be ready to eat at any time, but are better if left to cure for at least 24 hours.

They will last up to a year in the fridge.

Joke (or pun) of the week

[Sent in by Vicki Jordan]

God and trees

GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff that I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

St. FRANCIS:
It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD:
Grass? But, it’s so boring. It’s not colourful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilising grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD:
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS:
No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD:
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilise grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Sir.

GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS:
You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so that they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It’s a natural cycle of life.

ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD:
No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD:
Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE:
‘Dumb and Dumber’, Lord. It’s a story about…

GOD:
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Upcoming events – introduction

Website calendars by type of event: All once-off events, Cooking, Everything else, Garden tours, Free.

Website calendars by Council area: Banyule, Boroondara, City of Yarra, Darebin, Manningham, Maroondah, Moreland, Nillumbik, Whitehorse, Whittlesea and Yarra Ranges.

Obviously, because of the lockdown all the planned events between now and 9th September will have been cancelled, deferred or moved online. Ditto some of the events below.

In the lists below, events costing $10 or less are in bold.

Upcoming events – not cooking

Newly announced

• Introduction to beekeeping: Saturday, 2nd October, 9.30am-4.30pm; $225 ($32 per hour); Blackburn North.
• Gut health workshop: Tuesday, 12th October, 7-8pm; free; Doncaster.
• Native fruit: Thursday, 21st October, 6.30-9pm; $50 ($20 per hour); Bulleen Art and Garden.
• Beeswax wraps: Saturday, 23rd October, 10am-midday; $75 ($38 per hour); CERES.
• DIY Mushrooms: Saturday, 23rd October, 10am-4pm; $165 ($28 per hour); CERES.
• Home composting for beginners: Saturday, 23rd October, 2-3.30pm; free; Edendale.
• Grow more, work less: Monday, 25th October, 2.30-3.30pm; free; Blackburn.
• Waste, organic recycling and life cycle analysis: Tuesday, 26th October, 10am-4pm; $120 ($20 per hour); CERES.

September

• Complete urban farmer (14 sessions): starting Friday, 3rd September, 9am-3pm; $880 for ACFE eligible participants ($10 per hour); CERES.
• Sri Lankan cooking class: Friday, 3rd September, 1-3pm; $90 ($45 per hour); Surrey Hills.
• Beeswax wraps with Emma Grace: Friday, 3rd September, 7-9pm; $75 ($38 per hour); Surrey Hills.
• The art of espalier: Saturday, 4th September, 9.30am-midday; $55 ($22 per hour); Bulleen Art and Garden.
• Flavours of Coburg food tour: Saturday, 4th September, 10am-1pm; $49 ($16 per hour); Coburg.
• Organic vegetable gardening: Saturday, 4th September, 10am-3pm; $220 ($44 per hour); CERES.
• Bakery Hill whisky distillery tour and tasting: Sunday, 5th September, 2-3.30pm; $59 ($40 per hour); Bayswater North.
• Seed saving workshop: Saturday, 11th September, 10-11.30am; free; Whittlesea.
• Nutrition gardening with Donna Livermore: Saturday, 11th September, 10am-3pm; $75 ($15 per hour); Edendale.
• Edible weeds walk and talk: Saturday, 11th September, 2-4pm; free; Lilydale.
• Bakery Hill whisky distillery tour and tasting: Sunday, 12th September, 2-3.30pm; $59 ($40 per hour); Bayswater North.
• Sri Lankan street food experience: Sunday, 12th September, midday-2.30pm; $89 ($36 per hour); Fitzroy.
• Veggie gardening for beginners: Thursday, 16th September, 6.30-9pm; $55 ($22 per hour); Bullen Art and Garden.
• Beginning beekeeping course: Saturday, 18th September, 9am-4pm; $245 ($35 per hour); Edendale.
• Native edibles for companion planting: Saturday, 18th September, 9.30am-midday; $50 ($20 per hour); Bulleen Art and Garden.
• Flavours of Coburg food tour: Saturday, 18th September, 10am-1pm; $49 ($16 per hour); Coburg.
• Starting spring and summer veggies from seed: Saturday, 18th September, 1.30-3.30pm; starting-spring-and-summer-veggies-from-seed; Edendale.
• Wicking beds (two days): Saturday, 18th September 10am to Sunday, 19th September 3pm; $220 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Bakery Hill whisky distillery tour and tasting: Sunday, 19th September, 2-3.30pm; $59 ($40 per hour); Bayswater North.
• Healthy productive compost and worms: Saturday, 25th September, 9.30am-midday; $50 ($20 per hour); Bulleen Art and Garden.
• Chooks 4 kids and families: Saturday, 25th September, 10-11.30am; $15 ($10 per hour); Edendale.
• Bakery Hill whisky distillery tour and tasting: Sunday, 26th September, 2-3.30pm; $59 ($40 per hour); Bayswater North.
• The joy of backyard chooks: Thursday, 30th September, 6.30-9pm; $50 ($20 per hour); Bulleen Art and Garden.

October

• Flavours of Coburg food tour: Saturday, 2nd October, 10am-1pm; $49 ($16 per hour); Coburg.
• Know and grow heirloom tomatoes with Penny Woodward: Saturday, 2nd October, 1.30-3pm; $5; Edendale.
• Beekeeping workshop: Saturday, 2nd October, 2-4.30pm; $85 ($34 per hour); Brunswick East.
• Edible weeds: Sunday, 3rd October, 10am-midday; $50 ($25 per hour); CERES.
• Beginners backyard beekeeping: Saturday, 9th October, 10am-3pm; $220 ($44 per hour); CERES.
• Soil prep for summer veggies: Saturday, 9th October, 10.30-11.30am; free; Whittlesea.
• Edible weeds walk: Saturday, 9th October, 10.30am-12.30pm; $25 ($13 per hour); Brunswick East.
• Edible weeds walk: Saturday, 9th October, 1.30-3.30pm; $25 ($13 per hour); Brunswick East.
• Design a permaculture garden with Lucinda & Jules: Sunday, 10th October, 9am-midday; $45 ($15 per hour); Edendale.
• Growing nutrient dense food: Sunday, 10th October, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Produce in pots: Thursday, 14th October, 6.30-9pm; $55 ($22 per hour); Bulleen Art and Garden.
• Flavours of Coburg food tour: Saturday, 16th October, 10am-1pm; $49 ($16 per hour); Coburg.
• Growing great tomatoes: Saturday, 16th October, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Introduction to growing microgreens: Saturday, 16th October, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); Preston.
• Food forest gardening: Saturday, 16th October, 11am-midday; free; Edendale.

Upcoming events – cooking

Newly announced

• Gluten-free kitchen skills: Saturday, 23rd October, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Fermented foods: Saturday, 23rd October, 2-4pm; $40 ($20 per hour); Balwyn North.
• Blue cheese making: Sunday, 24th October, 7-11pm; $170 ($43 per hour); CERES.

September

• Rosa’s Friday traditional Italian cooking class: Friday, 3rd September, 6-10pmpm; $155 ($39 per hour); Bundoora.
• Seasonal ferments: kimchi + kombucha: Saturday, 4th September, 9am-11.30pm; $95 ($38 per hour); Brunswick East.
• Sourdough bread workshop: Saturday, 4th September, 9am-11.30pm; $165 ($66 per hour); Brunswick East.
• Fermented vegetables: Saturday, 4th September, 10am-1pm; $85 ($28 per hour); Kinglake.
• Cooking dumplings: Saturday, 4th September, 10am-1pm; $50 ($20 per hour); Bayswater North.
• Gnocchi making class: Saturday, 4th September, 10am-1.30pm; $125 ($36 per hour) including lunch; Thomastown.
• Rosa’s Saturday traditional Italian cooking class: Saturday, 4th September, 10.30am-2.30pm; $155 ($39 per hour); Bundoora.
• Chocolate discovery class: Saturday, 4th September, 1-2pm; $48 ($48 per hour); Yarra Glen.
• Feta and haloumi cheese making: Sunday, 5th September, 10am-4pm; $170 ($28 per hour); CERES.
• Rosa’s Sunday traditional Italian cooking class: Sunday, 5th September, 10.30am-2.30pm; $155 ($39 per hour); Bundoora.
• The art of salad making: Tuesday, 7th September, 7-8.30pm; $30 ($20 per hour); Hawthorn.
• DIY kombucha: Saturday, 11th September, 10am-1pm; $80 ($27 per hour); Whittlesea.
• Raw food fundamentals: Saturday, 11th September, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Beginners bread making: Sunday, 12th September, 8am-2pm; $190 ($32 per hour); Abbotsford.
• Introduction to Bulgarian cuisine cooking workshop: Sunday, 12th September, 11am-1pm; $65 ($33 per hour); Balwyn North.
• The ultimate biscuit class: Tuesday, 14th September, 10am-3pm; $160 ($32 per hour); Blackburn.
• Preserving: Saturday, 18th September, 9am-2pm; $70 ($14 per hour); Kinglake.
• Intro to fermenting at home: Saturday, 18th September, 10am-midday; $70 ($35 per hour); CERES.
• Beginners cheese making class: Saturday, 18th September, 10am-3pm; $180 ($36 per hour); Thomastown.
• Beginners bread making: Sunday, 19th September, 8am-2pm; $190 ($32 per hour); Abbotsford.
• Chinese cooking workshop: Sunday, 19th September, 10am-3pm; $10; Greensborough.
• Truffle workshop at Ratio Cocoa Roasters: Sunday, 19th September, 11am-12.30pm; $75 ($50 per hour); Brunswick.
• Sicilian cannoli: Sunday, 19th September, 2-4pm; $84 ($42 per hour); Fitzroy.
• Become a junior chocolatier: Wednesday, 22nd September, 4 occurrences stating at 9am, 10am, 11am and midday; $40 ($53 per hour); Yarra Glen.
• Good food, good mood with Joel Feren – live cooking demonstration: Wednesday, 22nd September, 11am-midday; free; Ringwood.
• Become a junior chocolatier: Thursday, 23rd September, 4 occurrences stating at 9am, 10am, 11am and midday; $40 ($53 per hour); Yarra Glen.
• Nonna & Mum’s cooking class: Thursday, 23rd September, 7.30-10pm; $20 ($8 per hour); Thornbury.
• Chocolate discovery class: Sunday, 26th September, 11am-midday; $48 ($48 per hour); Yarra Glen.
• The ultimate biscuit class: Tuesday, 28th September, 10am-3pm; $160 ($32 per hour); Blackburn.
• Become a junior chocolatier: Wednesday, 29th September, 4 occurrences stating at 9am, 10am, 11am and midday; $40 ($53 per hour); Yarra Glen.
• Truffle and praline workshop: Wednesday, 29th September, 6-10pm; $180 ($45 per hour); Blackburn.
• Sourdough basics: Wednesday, 29th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $95 ($32 per hour); Fitzroy.
• Become a junior chocolatier: Thursday, 30th September, 4 occurrences stating at 9am, 10am, 11am and midday; $40 ($53 per hour); Yarra Glen.

October

• Sourdough bread workshop: Saturday, 2nd October, 9am-11.30pm; $165 ($66 per hour); Brunswick East.
• Indian dosa masterclass: Sunday, 3rd October, midday-2.30pm; $89 ($36 per hour); Fitzroy.
• The ultimate biscuit class: Tuesday, 5th October, 10am-3pm; $160 ($32 per hour); Blackburn.
• French cooking workshop: Thursday, 7th October, 6.30-8.30pm; $65 ($33 per hour); Balwyn North.
• Cheese making at home: Saturday, 9th October, 10am-2pm; $120 ($30 per hour); Kinglake.
• Growing and cooking with bushfoods: Saturday, 9th October, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Soft goat cheese curd and goat camembert cheese: Sunday, 10th October, 10am-4pm; $170 ($28 per hour); CERES.
• Sourdough breadmaking workshop: Wednesday, 13th October, 10am-1pm; $90 ($30 per hour); Surrey Hills.
• Middle Eastern cooking: Friday, 15th October, 6-9.30pm; $65 ($19 per hour); Park Orchards.
• Sourdough bread: Sunday, 17th October, 1.30-4pm; $55 ($22 per hour); Park Orchards.
• Sourdough bread baking: Saturday, 16th October, 9am-5pm; $180 ($23 per hour); CERES.
• Indian cooking: Sunday, 17th October, 10am-3pm; $110 ($22 per hour); CERES.
• Truffle workshop at Ratio Cocoa Roasters: Sunday, 17th October, 11am-12.30pm; $75 ($50 per hour); Brunswick.
• The ultimate biscuit class: Tuesday, 19th October, 10am-3pm; $160 ($32 per hour); Blackburn.

In Richmond

• Street food of Asia: Friday, 3rd September, 2-4.30pm; $168 ($67 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 4th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Indian cooking master class: Saturday, 4th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Indonesian cooking master class: Saturday, 4th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 5th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Italian cooking master class: Sunday, 5th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Pizza making party: Sunday, 5th September, 6.30-8.30pm; $127 ($64 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 9th September, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Gnocchi in tutta l’Italia: Thursday, 9th September, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Pizza making party: Friday, 10th September, 2-4pm; $127 ($64 per hour); Richmond.
• Indian cooking master class: Friday, 10th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 11th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Chinese cooking master class: Saturday, 11th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Going native Australia: Saturday, 11th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 12th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Vegan cooking master class: Sunday, 12th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• A seafood feast: Tuesday, 14th September, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 16th September, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• La cucina della Puglia: Thursday, 16th September, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Japanese cooking master class: Friday, 17th September, 2-5pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Chinese cooking master class: Friday, 17th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 18th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Thai cooking master class: Saturday, 18th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Street food of Asia: Saturday, 18th September, 6.30-9pm; $168 ($67 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 19th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Vietnamese cooking master class: Sunday, 19th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Japanese cooking master class: Sunday, 19th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 23rd September, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Vietnamese cooking master class: Friday, 24th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Thai cooking master class: Friday, 24th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 25th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Japanese cooking master class: Saturday, 25th September, 2-5pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Korean cooking master class: Saturday, 25th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 26th September, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Mexican cooking master class: Sunday, 26th September, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Spanish cooking master class: Sunday, 26th September, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 30th September, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Gnocchi in tutta l’Italia: Thursday, 30th September, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Street food of Asia: Friday, 1st October, 2-4.30pm; $168 ($67 per hour); Richmond.
• Gnocchi in tutta l’Italia: Friday, 1st October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 2nd October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Indian cooking master class: Saturday, 2nd October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Indonesian cooking master class: Saturday, 2nd October, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 2rd October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Italian cooking master class: Sunday, 3rd October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Pizza making party: Sunday, 3rd October, 6.30-8.30pm; $127 ($64 per hour); Richmond.
• Nonna’s comfort food (Italian): Tuesday, 5th October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 7th October, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• The cuisine of Central Italy: Thursday, 7th October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Pizza making party: Friday, 8th October, 2-4pm; $127 ($64 per hour); Richmond.
• Indian cooking master class: Friday, 8th October, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 9th October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Chinese cooking master class: Saturday, 9th October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Going native Australia: Saturday, 9th October, 6.30-9.30pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 10th October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Vegan cooking master class: Sunday, 10th October, 6.30-9.30pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• A seafood feast: Tuesday, 12th October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 14th October, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Sicilian food: Thursday, 14th October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Japanese cooking master class: Friday, 15th October, 2-5pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Chinese cooking master class: Friday, 15th October, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 16th October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Thai cooking master class: Saturday, 16th October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Street food of Asia: Saturday, 16th October, 6.30-9pm; $168 ($67 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 17th October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Vietnamese cooking master class: Sunday, 17th October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Japanese cooking master class: Sunday, 17th October, 6.30-9.30pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Gnocchi in tutta l’Italia: Tuesday, 19th October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Thursday, 21st October, 6.30-8.30pm; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• La cucina Toscana: Thursday, 21st October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.
• Vietnamese cooking master class: Friday, 22nd October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Thai cooking master class: Friday, 22nd October, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Saturday, 23rd October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Japanese cooking master class: Saturday, 23rd October, 2-5pm; $189 ($63 per hour); Richmond.
• Korean cooking master class: Saturday, 23rd October, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Dumpling party: Sunday, 24th October, 10am-midday; $111 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Mexican cooking master class: Sunday, 24th October, 2-5pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Spanish cooking master class: Sunday, 24th October, 6.30-9.30pm; $168 ($56 per hour); Richmond.
• Nonna’s comfort food (Italian): Tuesday, 26th October, 6.30-10.30pm; $105 ($26 per hour); Richmond.